Back to Life

I thought the world would end the day I went back to work and left my baby. To my surprise it hasn't been so bad! Now that I no longer have a witch's brew of hormones running through my veins and I have a precious little baby always waiting for me at home, the little things that used to really get me going at work all seem more manageable. Daddy is with Marek most of the time on the days that I am in the office and it is so nice not to have to wake up a sleeping baby and pack him up in the car in the morning. I am so thankful for these special days that Matt and Marek have to play and bond. Matt calls me at work every day telling me about tummy time, play time, cuddle time, and all the things they do in the morning before he has to go to work. Airplane rides are a new favorite (of Daddy's). Marek likes them too but sometimes they make him puke.





Comin' in for a landing!



I am thankful for my job and the ability to work. Instead of looking it as "leaving" my baby, I am trying to remember that I am providing a life for him, learning and stimulating my own mind, and contributing to our local workforce and economy. I enjoy being on a schedule and I think it's good for Marek too. We are still praying every day that Matt finds a new job, one that is meaningful to him. I am so proud of his perseverance in his job search and I have faith that with his skills and work ethic, we will find just the right thing. Anyone who has been job searching for any amount of time knows the struggles of feeling let down and getting impatient. With each job he applies for, we picture our life in that scenario but he tells me he doesn't want to get his hopes up (again and again). I finally told him that I think we DO need to get our hopes up! A little hope might do us some good! Hope hope hope! Hopey hopey hope! In the meantime, he is looking for ways to boost his resume and trying to network. He is also planning his yearly Reserve training for four weeks in mid-July overseas (better pay and more exciting work). We will then see what it might be like to have Daddy gone for periods of time again as many of the jobs he is applying for are still maritime related.

Marek is really growing...more out than up. He is getting chunkier and roly poly and we really are enjoying this stage. I'm nervous about the mobile phase! He learned this week after lots of practice how to hold his toys and blankies and bring them to his mouth! He wanted to show you all how it's done:



And a few more photos I snapped today becuase Grandma and Papa begged me:






The emotions of going back to work, looking for jobs, adjusting to life with a new baby and watching him grow have all been overshadowed this last month by the passing of our Mom/Mom-in-law/Grandma Barb. Barb so looked forward to her Mondays with Marek and we felt so blessed to have such a loving Grandma nearby. She never did get her Monday with her little man but the last moments that they shared we will cherish forever. She gave him one last kiss that was so full of love, enough to last him a lifetime. Marek brought a lot of joy and strength to us over the last month but it also made it all so much harder knowing what he would miss out on. Playtime, crafts, birthday cakes, getting muddy in the garden "helping" his Grandma at the farm...of course we will do our best to continue her traditions but nobody could love him just the way Grandma Barb did. I have a feeling a Grandma's love is something like the way Mommas love, something I won't understand until it happens to me. We try to get back to a new sense of "normal" but I don't think anything can ever fill the place that she left behind. We miss you Barb.